I don't do well on low carbs. I get really sick. I call it "carb dementia". And of course, with no carbs and no calories in me, and exercising 5-6 thousand calories a week, I'm very sick. And I've figured out why it's so very scary for me to be this sick.
I feel like, if I ever get Alzheimer's, this is what it will be like. Except that I can't eat half a tortilla and feel better if I have dementia. It will be like this all the time. And when I have carb dementia, I know it. Just like my dad knew that something was wrong with him.
I know that:
- I am stupid (my brain is hardly working)
- I am not comprehending everything I read
- When I write, I don't always make sense
- My spelling is horrendous (worse than usual) and I don't recognize it if I don't have a red line telling me
- Simple tasks like assembling an air conditioner, office chair, or IKEA furniture are nearly impossible
- My hands shake when I try to do precision tasks
- When I talk, I can't remember words or names (expressive aphasia, what my dad had)
- I can't remember the point of what I'm saying by the time I'm done saying it
- I'm perpetually exhausted and have to nap like an old person
- My moods are bad; I am mean-tempered and utterly lack patience
- I am depressed; I cry a lot and sleep a lot and have no motivation to do anything
- I stumble over everything when I'm walking, even things no sane person would trip over like a piece of paper
- If I exert myself (such as shopping in a poorly air-conditioned store) I start to grey out and get tunnel vision (I work out in a pool so I don't overheat)
For instance, it took me well over an hour to compose this blog post. It should have taken 20 minutes. I have no idea if it makes sense. There aren't a lot of red lines so everything is probably spelled correctly.
I have to wonder if it's worth it. To give myself temporary diet-based dementia so I can live long enough to get real dementia.