Monday, September 03, 2012

I don't wanna

I don't want to go down this road again.  I've been down it once and that was too many times.
It's not a nice winding tranquil path through the woods.
It's ugly and sad and brutal and it ends very very badly.
There is nothing ahead but heartbreak, devastation, and loss.
And if you think that maybe I should concentrate on the happy side of dementia and Alzheimer's, let me know when you find it.


SuperP. said...

There really isnt a happy side of dementia. But, there are happy bits to the people that it affects.

I had a grandmother that suffered a decade long trial with Alzheimers, and I have been working with people who suffer from dementia for over two years.

If you ever need a break, or a laugh, or a good cry, or someone to chat with, feel free to stop by.

I love a lot of people with dementia.

I do not envy you your position as caregiver, nor your heartbreak as son. I can only offer a different perspective.. and, admittedly, one I would not hold as easily, if I were to be directly affected by these insidious, cognitive diseases, personally, again.

Love and prayers.

Joy Walker said...

I'm so sorry you're having to do this so many, many times. Isn't there a point when you can say you've done enough? Isn't there anyone else in your aunt's life who can take over; I'm sure it would be agreed that you've done more than your fair share! Take care of yourself!! Joy at 3 years and 13 dumpsters

Anonymous said...

I am too naive to say anything. But the presence of your loved one besides you and being grateful that it may not be the worst thing in the world.
My neighbours, they had just moved in. And old lady with her old man and their son of 28 yrs old. She used to water plants. But things changed when she had tuberculous meningitis and later developed hemiplegia. I see her son who is single child just like me and admire his efforts in giving her allthe care he possibly can.
You are setting an example for people. Theres always a good thing to look at. Be that the presnce of your loved one besides you. Take care.

Unknown said...

Sounds like a rough and stressful time. I tend to agree, that even though there are no words to truly describe the stress and despair, there is still always room for hope and laughter and happiness. My Granga has been passed on a few years now, and I would give anything to have one more moment with her as her caregiver, even if it was not one of the better ones. You are doing the right thing getting these feelings off your chest. Good for you! Keep talking. Keep loving. Get a break when you can, and remember "This too shall pass."
Contact me anytime and wish you all the best!
Barbara Worthington
Founder & Owner of Caregiver Cards

Amanda said...

When my grandmother's Alzheimer's was progressing (she's since passed away), I bought every book I could find on making her life easier, keeping her safe, etc and it would infuriate me when I'd read an author going on about the happiness that can be found in dementia. I wanted to punch the people who said that in the face.

My grandfather's doctor has diagnosed him with dementia and, like you, I'm thinking "Seriously?! No mas! Not again!"

If it helps at all, please know that your blog is a tremendous blessing to me (and I bet to a lot of folks).

Assisted Living Directory said...

I don't think there could be a positive or happy side to it. Dementia ransacks the individual and the family. Your blog though is certainly helpful to others in the same boat.....