Tuesday, May 17, 2005
39: green playing cards
So like a good little daughter, I found some green cards. The Bellagio in Las Vegas has green & brown decks. A guy on E-bay was selling them as a a pair, one green and one brown. He agreed to send me two green decks instead. He's from Canada, a foreign hostile country far from here, so clearly that's why it took THREE WEEKS for the package to arrive. Those Canadians--who do they think they are?
The cards came on Friday. I had to buy a gift for a baby christening, so I made sure the tissue I got was green and I wrapped the decks up and gave them to my dad.
He was underwhelmed.
Reminded me of the dreadfully expensive Far Side book I got him last year, which is still in its wrapper under the coffee table.
He wants to play war where we each have our own deck of a different color. He doesn't understand that the decks won't stay that way, or that his green special Bellagio decks don't match the standard red and blue decks we were playing with.
Sigh.
My mom said he's hardly driving at all. If he goes to "work" he's been walking--it's only down the hill and across the street. The street is route 5, however. Hopefully no one will run him over. Although some days, it seems like that would be a blessing.
Friday, May 06, 2005
38: more on the accident
Mayatime: 12.19.12.4.14 13 Ix 12 Uo May 6, 2005
I have a few more details about my father's accident. He's never been in a car accident before, EVER in his life. That's pretty impressive and I wish I could say the same. He said he looked, there were no cars, and he pulled out, and there was a car, and he hit it. Then he panicked and just kept going.I have to wonder if the "car from no where" ran a stop sign or something. I live 2 houses from an intersection, and I always look before I back out, but EVERYONE runs the stop sign, so one moment no one is there and the next moment some idiot comes barreling down the hill (it's REALLY steep) and flew around the corner: right behind my backing-out car!
My father just continued to his destination, which is where the cops caught up to him. The guy who works there came out and defended my dad (how nice of him), who is a regular customer. My father gave the cops a card with my mom's number at work, and they called her. I guess they didn't believe he's got Alzheimer's, even though he's got the Safe Return bracelet on. So many people don't know what it's really like. I didn't...even a year ago I had no clue what it really was. We learn the hard way sometimes.Evidently, when I came over on Tuesday, my father had it in his head that my mother called me and told me to come over and yell at him. That's why he wouldn't look at me or talk to me. I would NOT yell at my mentally-ill father. If my husband had done it, yeah I'd yell and kick his butt too. But it's not my dad's fault. His thinking is impaired. Aliens have stolen his brain. Damn them. Damn them to whatever Hell they believe in.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
37: the accident
Yesterday my dad got into a car accident. I found out when I went over there for something else yesterday afternoon. My mom didn't give me a lot of details. She just said that he hit someone (car, I assume, not pedestrian) and didn't know it and kept driving. The person chased him, called the cops. The cops wanted to take his license on the spot. They called my mom at work. She went there; don't know what she said but they didn't take his license.
He was folding the laundry in the dining room while my mother and I were working on something in the kitchen. I realized he hadn't come outside to greet me, hadn't said hello, so I went over to the counter between the rooms and said "Hi Dad, you didn't say hello to me yet." He barely glanced up, said hello dutifully, and put his head back down.
My mother and I finished what we were working on and I had something to drink. I went to sit in the living room and harass the fatherbiter cat. My parents came in and sat on the other couch, and the evil cat decamped to go sit with them. My father just sat with his head down. He wouldn't talk to me or look at me. He was so sad. I just wanted to cry. I was talking to my mother about the break-in at my house on Monday and he didn't respond at all. Usually he'd be all heated up, saying he'd go kick the person's ass, etc. (He's totally non-violent, he just likes to say things like that.)
for more info on the break-in, see my other blog: www.ofsinitiate.blogspot.com.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
36: sad BBC story about dementia
Mayatime: 12.19.12.4.6 5 Cimi 4 Uo April 28, 2005
I just read this story on the BBC website and it broke my heart. I'm sitting here sobbing. I know the link will go away so here's the whole story.
Link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4485827.stm (has a picture of their yard, pretty boring)
Story:
BBC NEWS
Church elder smothered sick wife
A 80-year-old church elder who smothered his wife of more than 50 years as he struggled to cope with her dementia has been admonished.
The High Court in Glasgow heard that Kenneth Edge, from Grangemouth near Falkirk, was "severely depressed" and could not come to court.
Judge Lady Smith took the unusual step of dealing with Edge in his absence.
Edge earlier admitted culpable homicide by smothering his wife Winifred, 85, with a pillow in March 2003.
His doctor took the view it would be "severely detrimental" for him to come to court.
Lady Smith said: "In the circumstances I am prepared to admonish him in his absence. There seems no point in continuing this case to try to get him to court."
'Loving marriage'
The judge heard that Mrs Edge, a former Sunday school teacher, had been married to her husband for 55 years.
They had no children but shared a variety of interests during a "long and loving marriage".
When his wife became ill with senile dementia Edge began to suffer blackouts from the pressure of taking care of her at their house on Grangemouth's Cedar Street.
The court heard that Mrs Edge had not been sleeping and her husband was trying to remain alert at night to help her.
On the night she died, Mrs Edge woke and began waving and thrashing her arms around.
Confessed to police
Her husband put a pillow over her face and Mrs Edge offered little or no resistance.
When he realised what he had done Edge phoned the police and confessed.
At a hearing 18 months ago, Lady Smith told Mr Edge: "It is perfectly plain that you have punished, and will continue to punish, yourself because you have removed from your life your lifetime partner whom you have loved and cared for.
"You did so in circumstances precipitated by the enormous stresses and strains you had been put under as you tried to care for a woman who ceased to be the woman you married, and whom you had known and loved for more than 50 years."
Story from BBC NEWS:http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/scotland/4485827.stm
Published: 2005/04/26 12:11:58 GMT
© BBC MMV
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
35: vet visits, green playing cards, depressed cats, happy fish
Last week my dad was supposed to help me take two of my birds to the vet. Three of my six birds have epilepsy, and they have seizures when I take them out of the house or in the car or basically anywhere. I called him the night before to remind him to be at my house at 4:00; the appointment was for 4:30. Then I called him at 3:40 and said, "Come over now. I'll see you in 15 minutes." I went outside with one of the cats and cleaned the lawn furniture, watching the cars go by. None of them were my father. Eventually I went inside and saw to my horror it was 4:08. It takes 20 minutes to get to the vet, and no dad! I called my parents' house and asked my mom when my father had left. She replied that he was sitting there waiting for me to pick him up! I did not have time to pick him and that nullifies the whole point of having someone there to shut and open doors for me while I carry the birds to the car. I was kind of angry. It's not like I depended on his memory--I called and said "come over now" how much more explicit can I be? Apparently he chose to hear "I am coming over to get you."
I was 2 minutes late getting to the vet, but they didn't say anything. The vet who hates my birds was there (she said flat out after one of them had a seizure in her exam room that she didn't want to work on them ever again) and they asked if I wanted her or the other doctor. I said the other doctor. Then when I came out and needed another appointment for the next two birds, they tried to get me to go to her again. I didn't want to say "She hates my birds" because that sounds mean, but she's the one who refused to work on them.
I still go over my parents' house once or twice a week to play cards. Now we play War. Since there's three of us, we use 2 decks. I bought a 2 pack of decks, a red deck and a blue deck. Every time we play, my father says, "Wouldn't it be nice if we had a green deck?" (That's not what he SAYS, it's what he MEANS.) He loves green. I shopped around and found that the Bellagio in Las Vegas has green decks, and a found a guy who was selling used Bellagio decks in pairs of green and brown, and he agreed to sell me a pair of green decks. One night while we were playing cards, we were talking about Patches, our black and white kitty I gave to my father for Father's day many years ago. She died right after I gave my parents Jasper. My mother says she died of a broken heart because she missed the dog so much (they were puppy and kitten together and best friends)--after Alf died, whenever a neighborhood dog barked, Patches would rush to the window to see if it was Alf. I should scan in some pictures of them and put them here. So my father asked if a cat would miss a person when he died, specifically, if Jasper will miss him when he dies. It was a very sad moment. Then my father decided, on his own, that Jasper would miss my mother more if she died than he would miss my father. (Probably true, Jasper adores my mother and tolerates my father, who insists on picking him up constantly and carrying him around, which he hates.)
My mother keeps talking about getting another cat, but my father thinks Jasper would be jealous. In reality, what would happen is, my father would transfer his adoration to the new cat. I don't ever remember anyone interacting with Nippy, the cat we had when I was born, but once we got Streaker, the first Siamese cat, no one except me ever paid attention to poor old Nippy, who died when I was 15 and she was 16 (I guess she died-she was sick and never came home). Then when we got Alf, Streaker was pushed aside. He died of feline aids, and I got my father Patches, and although he still liked the dog, Patches became his favorite. And so on. I guess I should be glad I'm an only child, or I'd probably be ignored too in favor of my younger sibling. (Can't even imagine having a sibling. I wonder what it's like?)
I had to buy another fish tank. The old one I had the betta and his catfish friends in was starting to crack; every day there were more cracks and/or the existing cracks were larger. So my betta is extremely spoiled now. I bought him from one of those little round bowls where he barely had room to turn around, and put him in a 2 gallon tank with a filter, 2 plants and 2 friends, to his utter astonishment. Now he's in a FIVE gallon tank with 5 plants, two rocks, a stone monster, and 2 friends. Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled. I've spent about $100 to sustain this $3 fish. It was pretty funny; I set up the new tank right next to the old one. I took the plants and the stone monster out of the old tank and put in the new, along with the heater. So the 2 gallon tank was bare except for the rocks and the 3 fish. The betta would swim to the glass and press up against it, looking into the next tank where his plants were. Then he'd swim to the front of the tank and look at me as if to say, "why can't I get to the plants?" It took a whole day to get the new tank warm enough to transfer them. As soon as I did, the betta went right into the plants. The little fish still zoom around and then nap. At least someone in my life is happy!
