71 Grandma's crazy

We went to my grandmother's for dinner as usual on Sunday night. When we walked in the door, my father smiled brightly at Will and said "Hi Rick!" My mother and grandmother immediately corrected him and he said "Hi Will!" He doesn't apologize, just moves on.
Through the whole dinner he kept farting away. My husband made a comment about an elephant and I said "Yeah, it follows my father around." And yes, we said this at normal volume. My dad doesn't listen to anything unless it's directed AT him.
My grandmother was in rare form. Not moping or complaining or having the downturned mouth. She had a puzzle almost finished, and when it got down to 30 pieces or so I turned it over to my husband and started sorting the pieces to the next puzzle. This puzzle was a strange one, made of foam like a 3d puzzle. The person who had done it last had folded it up and put it into the box. So my mom and I were breaking it apart and putting aside the edges. My grandmother and father both had fits because we were breaking it part 100%--not leaving even 2 pieces joined together. My father calls it "throwing it away" as in, "Don't throw it away!" meaning "stop taking it apart!" (that good ol' Bob speak).
My grandmother took a bunch of unbroken chunks and set them aside. As I kept going through the box finding edges, I'd break apart any still-joined smaller chunks. My grandmother actually grabbed my hand and BIT ME to make me stop. I thought I was going to pee myself laughing. Then my mom reached over and started breaking up the big chunks grandma had set aside and my grandmother slapped her hand and threated to cut off her thumbs. I can't remember the last time she was so spunky. It was great fun.
I pulled out a bunch of pieces which had writing on them--the picture was a house with a sign out front. I gave those pieces to my dad because that's what he likes. He couldn't put them together (he hardly tried)--although he had just been putting together very difficult pieces which were just leaves and shadow on the other puzzle. He got mad, flung the pieces aside and went to sit in the armchair and glare into space. He didn't turn on the TV or speak, just sat there in a snit.
Last night I stopped at my grandma's after I went to the vet to get Zen's medicine. (He's got a thyroid condition--he's lost 2 pounds.) I only meant to stay an hour but she was still in a good mood so I stayed almost four hours. I missed my body shop meeting. Oh well. She offered me "two grinders" she'd gotten at the Senior Center earlier. I took them for Will to eat. We did about a third of the puzzle and watched the news and then I took the "grinders" home for Will.
They were just two rolls. Not sandwiches. Oh well.