Thursday, February 21, 2008

174 married to a monster

CNN.com had this article about what it's like to have a spouse with AD up a few weeks ago.
Joan Gershman, 59, does not mince words when describing how Alzheimer's disease has affected her marriage. "For 34 years, we were partners, lovers, friends -- and all of sudden I am living with a monster," she said of her husband, Sid, 65, who was diagnosed in 2005.
I wonder if he hurts her like my dad did my mom? She always had bruises. And my dad would see them and ask who did that to her. He never believed it was him.
For Gershman, keeping it all inside took its toll. People in her support group rarely spoke about Alzheimer's emotional effect on marriages, so she started the Web site thealzheimerspouse.com. An average of 750 people visit the site each day, and she has heard from spouses around the world.
750? I'm happy with my 50 or so a day. I need to set my sights higher, apparently. Although it doesn't matter. If only 1 person comes a day, and that person feels better because s/he visited, that's what counts.
(screenprint)

4 comments:

Mauigirl said...

My father said the most hateful things to my mother when he was in the middle stages of Alzheimer's Disease. He didn't hit her but his words were cruel. I'm sure she could relate to this.

Marvel said...

Sorry for the personal message but have you (Bert) or any other regular reader heard from Gail of "The Mom & Me Journals dot Net"? Her blog is down, did she move it? Are things alright with her mother? I've had some personal events taking up my time and haven't kept up with my favorite blogs. Her Myspace account is gone as well.

Thank you Bert for your continued Alzheimer's community support.

Gevera Bert Piedmont })i({ said...

Marvel:
Gail had to take her sites down, but she is going to put them back up with a new server. When I get the info on her new address, I will post a link.
Bert

Starling said...

I'm one of the people who use the Alzheimer's Spouse forum. One of the reasons it gets the numbers of hits that it gets is that it is a forum and not a blog. It is a community.

All forums have at least 10 times the number of lurkers as posters. we have become a pretty large group of posters. It doesn't surprise me that as many people lurk as you have discovered.