92 Day care disaster & in the news

Yesterday was my dad's first and last day in the Alzheimer's program at the senior center. He lasted 2 hours and was asked to leave.
My mother said as soon as she pulled into the parking lot he started screaming at her "you bitch I'm going to get you for this, you're going to be sorry". I wonder if he thought she was putting him into a home?
Evidently he refused to listen or do anything that was asked of him, he stalked around instead of sitting with the others and was just generally a brat--6 instead of 66. By 11:15 (it started at 9:00) he was home again. My mom is so angry. I am too. I wanted her to have those 15 hours a week to herself.
In the news, a high-copper high-fat diet contributes to cognitive decline.
A high-fat, copper-rich diet may increase the risk of cognitive decline in older adults....Food with high copper levels include organ meats (such as liver), shellfish, nuts, seeds, legumes, whole grains, potatoes, chocolate and some fruits.
My dad cuts the fat off his meat (and the char marks) but then he pours gravy on the de-fatted meat, drinks the gravy, and drinks the high-fat salad dressing. But he also eats a LOT of shellfish--clams and shrimp mostly. He eats potatoes and peanut butter.
Among those who consumed the most saturated and trans fats, cognitive function declined more rapidly with the more copper they had in their diets.
"The increase in rate for the high-fat consumers whose total copper intake was in the top 20 percent (greater than or equal to 1.6 milligrams per day) was equivalent to 19 more years of age," the study authors wrote.
It was a six year study. 19 years of decline in 6 years. That is SCARY.
But I know I wouldn't be able to get my dad to stop doing anything he does now. I could tell my mom to stop letting him eat clams ("shells" and shrimp and peanut butter, and not to drink salad dressing or gravy anymore. But she won't tell him that, and even if she did, he wouldn't stop.
Just like he won't stop farting and rarely acknowledges that he did it.

91 Vacation-all I never wanted & plaque news

My parents are back from their vacation.
It's destined to be their last vacation.
Two years ago, the year he was diagnosed with AD, my dad complained constantly that he wanted to go home and he had a bad time. Last year we went with them and he complained less. This year I couldn't go because I just took a week off to go to Vegas for the wedding disaster. So my parents took my mom's best friend.
She hurt her leg and couldn't walk. So my parents didn't walk on the beach as much as they like or uptown. Now, they left me behind, or forced me to walk with them, but apparently that's not okay with a friend, just a daughter.
My mom said when my father had to go to the bathroom during the night he'd go out in the balcony instead of into the bathroom (I guess he didn't pee out there, he realized his mistake, but still). He was very confused by everything. Without his newspapers he didn't know what day it was. (I don't know why my mom didn't just buy him a paper--they have newspapers in Massachusetts!). They had a great time on the whale watch--they saw some outrageous number of whales, like fifty, breaching and sounding and even a baby and mommy finback. Did they bring the camera? No.
My father told my mother "no more water" and that he didn't like it there and didn't want to anymore (the beach). My dad's whole reason for going used to be to walk on the beach. I feel sad but at the same time I don't. I tried to explain it to my mom. Yes, he loved the beach. But if he's forgotten he loved it, he won't miss it. Right? Is that mean?
The dog was happy to see them & be home. When I went over Friday night all he wanted to do was play fetch with his toy, the "Baby". My dad was happy to be home too. He even came and worked on the puzzle with us.
But he is clearly fading.
Yesterday we took him out for his birthday, to the Pacific Buffet, where he can get a plethora of "shells" (steamed clams-stinky and yuckky) and shrimp (double yuck). He ate plates and plates of each, dipped in probably a pint total of "red sauce" (cocktail sauce). But he was confused there too, wandering with an empty plate in his hand, even taking the wrong food and being unhappy with it sometimes. I had a plate of fruit, a plate of vegetable lo mein, vegetable fried rice and chicken fingers and then another plate of mashed potatoes with a bun, and half a piece of cake. Me, my husband and my mom had finished eating (including dessert) and paid the bill and my dad was still going back for more shrimp and shells. He eats so much yet he's down to around 150 lbs. My husband said it's because my dad eats mostly protein and fat and hardly any carbs so he's basically on a form of Atkins. That might explain the farts too. Although they haven't been quite as bad lately.
For supper at grandma's he complained when my mother put chicken on his plate. "I said I only wanted green things." And of course my mother had forgotten the salad. Actually she asked HIM to carry the salad and he walked away without it. He ate his warm veggies and the rest of the potatoes (drenched in gravy) and then my mom got him to eat a little chicken.
I took some new pictures of my dad yesterday (look in the sidebar) and looking at them brings on the same feeling of loss and unfairness as looking at a picture of my beloved Zen-zen cat who died 13 days ago. Taken too soon. Not fair. Why should I have to bear all this loss? My husband never knew his father, who died in a car accident when he was 14 months old. I asked him which he would rather have--to watch his father be eaten, or to have him die quickly like he did. He couldn't answer, he said, because he didn't know his father. I asked him about his mother. He said she's already crazy (which she is, but it's benign) but he wouldn't want her to be in any pain. That really didn't answer the question. My dad might not be physical pain but he is in great mental anguish.

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Alzheimer's news today:
Scientists have discovered molecular janitors that clear away a sticky gunk blamed for Alzheimer's disease until they get old and quit sweeping up. The finding helps explain why Alzheimer's is a disease of aging. More importantly, it suggests a new weapon: drugs that give nature's cleanup crews a boost..... Nor does anyone know what causes Alzheimer's. The lead suspect is a gooey protein called beta-amyloid. All brains contain it, although healthy cells somehow get rid of excess amounts. But beta-amyloid builds up in Alzheimer's patients, both inside their brain cells and forming clumps that coat the cells (in the) plaque that is the disease's hallmark. Thursday's study reveals one way that cells fend off amyloid buildup, and that natural aging gradually erodes that detoxification process.... So in slowing down normal aging, something also slowed the buildup of toxic amyloid. But what? Enter those cellular janitors, two proteins in that gene pathway. One, named HSF-1, breaks apart amyloid and disposes of it, the researchers discovered. Natural aging slows HSF-1, so it can't keep up with the necessary detoxification. Another protein called DAF-16 jumps in to help buy a little more time, by clumping extra amyloid together in a way that makes it less toxic....Until recently, scientists thought amyloid clumps, or plaques, were the bigger problem. His research supports more recent findings that smaller amyloid tendrils inside cells are the really poisonous form....By the time you see the plaques, it's too late.
Of course, right now, the only way to see the plaque is in the autopsy. Talk about "too late." :(

90 "tell the people" & Alzheimer's Mad Libs

My mom ordered some hand lotion from my body shop page for my dad (if his skin is soft he doesn't pick at it). It came in on Friday but I forgot to bring it over. I went to see An Inconvenient Truth on Saturday(review coming--check my Shamanism blog or the new review page on my website) by myself at the Cine 1-2-3-4 so on the way back I stopped at my grandmother's to drop off the lotion. At least the dog knows who I am and is happy to see me. Remember that my dad just saw me the night before, and for lunch the day before. He says "Are you coming to Wallingford again?" (A rare, articulate sentence) I say, gently, "I live in Wallingford. I'm going there right now. I'm going home."
Blank look. I start to walk away. He calls to me, "Tell the people!" I stop and ask, "What people?"
"The people." He waves his arms. "Tell them what?" "Tell them." My mother suggests the Mad-Lib plug in of "Tell Willy he says hello." That seems to be correct, so I make my way out to the car. As I put it in reverse, I hear my grandmother shouting, and I turn around to see that I'm about to run my dad over. He does that--he stands behind moving cars or too close to them.
He comes up to my window and starts laughing and talking about black bags. I have no idea what he's referring to. He explains "I'm just making a joke" and laughs again. I'm glad he's amused. Taking a guess, I tell him he can come to my house and take my returnable bottles and cans and that I'll leave a black trash bag out for him. He agrees and nods but they don't come over so I guess he forgot or didn't understand.
My mother claims he doesn't know I'm his daughter. I don't believe that. I believe that he's forgotten my name, but when he sees me he knows I'm someone he wants around. I think if she says "Berta, your daughter" he might be totally blank on that concept, but not when I'm standing there. Same with my husband. He knows Willy's that "guy who eats with us sometime", and that he's supposed to be there, even if he doesn't exactly know Will's name or function.
They went on vacation and what a debacle. My mom called me in hysterics. She was crying because she loves the dog and he was unhappy to be left at the dog hotel. Then the dog hotel wouldn't take the cat because he got his rabies shot 13 months ago even though it's a 3 year vaccine. So I had to truck over there every day before work and feed him and he cries because he can't go outside so I have to go again and let him out for a while. One day I couldn't find him at all. My mother started to tell my father that and I stopped her. No need to borrow trouble, isn't that the old saying? I said "Tell him the cat is fine." Then he was flipping out because he forget to take the garbage bin to the curb. No doubt he was ready to come home and do it. I got Will to do it on the way home.
Then I found Japser (he found ME) with no problem and he was even purring and letting me carry him which means he's lonely. I called the hotel to tell my parents and my mom put my dad on the phone. He asked "Talk to the people for me." After a few minutes of Mad-Libs, my mom figured out he meant to check on the cat. I explained that the cat was right there, purring. I tried to get the cat to meow into the phone but he wouldn't. "Oh, I'm glad, I'm so glad, I was worried." Yes, I know, he worries about that damn mean little cat. The other day I tried to pet him because he was on top of the freezer in the basement crying for attention and the $*er bit me.

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Mad-Libs is a game I played when I was little. You bought a book of very short stories, with the key words left out. Under each blank was a part of speech, like "noun" or "verb" or something like "body part" or "Place" or "Man's name". So from a story like this:
(Man's name) went to the (place) to buy some (noun), (noun), and (adjective)(noun), only he got more than he bargained for. The (adjective) checkout girl (verb -ed) his (body part) and then hit him with a (noun).
you could get a variety of stories, most of them dirty because that's human nature.
Alzheimer's mad-libs is a little different. I know not all AD sufferers have the verbal impairment of my dad so everyone might not get to play this lovely game.
My dad says, "They went to that place with the thing." Another common variation is "they went to the place for that thing."
They=person's name
That place=some common location or activity
The thing=could be anything
They is usually my mom, especially if I just called on the phone.
That place and that thing rely heavily on each other. If you can figure one out, you can figure out the other. Common meanings: went for a walk with the dog. Took the cat (or dog) to the vet. Took grandma to the store/doctor. Took the car for a oil change. You can see the possibilities are endless.
Yes, my life is an endless round of fun. Dead pets, insane parents--something for everyone.

89 another major loss

My father and I took the cats to the vet for their shots on Monday. Zen-Zen hadn't been getting much better on his thyroid medicine so I wanted him looked at again. He had been very lethargic, not himself at all. My father came with me supposedly to help. But he won't hold Zen because he insisted Zen will bite or claw him. Just because HIS cat clawed him. I was so impatient, I said, "He's sick, he won't bite you." But he held the poor cat at arm's length when Zen is a cuddler and wants to be hugged. Then he was carrying the box with Nutter in it sideways.
The vet poked at Zen, took his temperature which I thought would be high (it was low) and took him to weigh him. From there, my kitty was wisked away to stay overnight. I didn't get to say goodbye or kiss him again. The vet called after we left to say Zen had fluid in his chest from congestive heart failure and that he was going to draw out the fluid. He called again the next morning to say he'd drawn out a lot of the fluid and then Zen was breathing much better and I could pick him up after work.
Then he called at noon to say Zen had just died of a heart attack.
I can't process the loss of my cat so soon on the heels of losing Prism after only 3 weeks, and my beloved Goober I raised from an egg, and Gwennie last summer. That's 4 pets in 11 months. Add in my dad's illness and it's a wonder I'm not a total wreck.
I posted a lot about Zen on my other blog, including pictures.

88 another voice in the AD world (guest speaker here)

This is from an email sent to me by a woman who runs the Unforgettable Fund. She is very wise and with her permission I will be posting some of her comments now and again.

Hi Bert,
They ran a big article on the Unforgettable Fund today in our local paper.
Having been in advertising for my entire career, I always laugh when
"experts" say a plan is needed. If that were the case, all these great
"plans" would have solved the ills of the world already. Truth is, plans are
simple, you can buy them. Beating Alzheimer's takes much more than a plan. It takes something much harder than a plan. What it takes is the truth. And the truth is, without people suffering from the effects of Alzheimer's facing the fact it's going to take money, and time, and energy, and strength, and gritted teeth to beat this disease, it will remain unstoppable, untreatable and a death sentence.

Either we pay now, or we'll be paying later. I believe the world is full of
people like you and me. And when given the chance to put their money where
their mouth is, no matter how small the contribution, they will do so.

Alzheimer's is like no other disease. With cancer, with diabetes, with high
blood pressure, with manic depression, there are survivors. There are people
who beat the odds, no matter how stiff. Everyone with Alzheimer's dies. And before they do they lose their minds. Each and every one. There is no
deviation.

The eleven years I went through I lost something more every day. I will not
lose another thing to Alzheimer's. And neither should you. You have a
wonderful quote about beating Alzheimer's with a bat. I hear you.

If you keep an open mind, which I believe you have, this disease will teach
you more about fighting than anything else. I do NOT like to be held captive
by anything, especially love for a dying man. But I was incapable of doing
more than just watching him lose everything. I bathed and fed and comforted
him as best I could. But he's gone, The disease is still here. And my hands
are no longer tied.

My father's eleven year struggle will stand for nothing but immeasurable loss,
unless we can find a way to reach the world with a simple message - FIGHT
THIS DISEASE IN THE LAB BEFORE IT GETS INTO YOUR HOUSE.

I'm ranting on a Sunday morning. Good lord. Gotta go have some coffee.
Thanks for listening, Bert. It's hard to put in words how much it helps to
share this with someone going through the same thing.


Patty

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We may be two entirely different people, and to be honest, the pagan high priestess status is a little disconcerting, but if I, a staunch, liberal Democrat, could find common ground with Jeb Bush, a conservative, Republican governor, I think there is plenty of room for you and I to completely and totally agree. Alzheimer's doesn't care what I believe in, or who I pray to, or what candidate I support. It takes with complete abandon and total lack of discrimination. The tools of this disease - its relentlessness, its never-giving-up nature- are what I intend to use against it. Beat it at its own game.

Alike or not, we are in complete agreement about what this disease feels like when it attacks a parent. I know what you're talking about. I hear it loud and clear, and your voice is honest and true. It's what attracted me you your blog in the first place. It isn't often we hear the truth, but we know it as soon as we hear it. I'm not so sure about the spiritual side of things, but your exactly right about Alzheimer's. We're tied at the hip and I would be honored to have you post my letter on your blog.

Next t-shirt: The Golden Years are Lead.