tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8024461.post6551123504273506887..comments2023-07-02T10:27:44.090-04:00Comments on "Had a Dad" Alzheimer's Blog: 126 Circling the DrainGBP })i({http://www.blogger.com/profile/09275995534174189926noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8024461.post-53643160258772396292007-09-29T11:30:00.000-04:002007-09-29T11:30:00.000-04:00Dear BertI know what you are dealing with and I un...Dear Bert<BR/>I know what you are dealing with and I understand your pain and frustrations. I have cared for my father whom has Alzheimer's for over 5 years and now I am being charged with neglect. He woke up, pulled off his briefs and went outside where he soiled himself. At some point he came back inside and sit on his bed were he soiled it also. He takes the linen off the bed I guess from frustration of dealing with it. He cannot sit still. I feel drugs to sedate him will take what little impendence he has away. <BR/><BR/>During this time I was in bed asleep, something that usually only last 3 to 4 hours a night. I was woken up by 4 police officers standing over my bed telling me to pull my hands out from under the cover slowly. I knew someday he would wonder off and the nice cops would bring him back, instead I had the cop from hell. <BR/><BR/>The night before we were both up until 4 in the morning as he watched, and offer help fixing the house. Sometime in the morning he woke up before me. And went about his normal routine, which is going out on the back porch were he loves to sing. Now I am facing the ultimate punishment of neglect. <BR/> <BR/>To try and makes things better instead of a nursing home I decided to build an addition on the back of the house that would accommodate his needs more. Being a carpenter for over 20 years I have done most, but not of the work myself. My stupid mistake was forgetting to get a permit. Thinking “grandfather clause” I wouldn’t need one until certain parts were done. <BR/><BR/>I had an ongoing project inside the house to replace and fix everything he has destroyed from urinating on the floor, the walls and any place he decided to pee. I had to replace plywood on the floor due to the urination, hang new sheetrock on the walls. I had water lines break in the middle of the night. These are only a few things I had had to deal with over the last 5 years. Now I have the justice department sniffing around and wanting to make me pay for offering my father a little independence before he dies. <BR/><BR/>Mad as hell, yes I am and still am. I lost control and talked back to that police officer… Which was stupid on my part, but he treated me like I was nothing more than dog shit on his shoes. Yes laws are an important, but they make them to have such a large grey area that anything could be considered neglect. <BR/><BR/>Now all I can do is pace the floor and wonder how my father is doing. Yes mad as hell about a society that spit words out to the public and make them sound important or a just cause. I was arrested 2 days later and the next day I made the front page were the things I said were turned around to make me seem like that dog shit on his shoes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8024461.post-83054366983514967102007-07-01T23:00:00.000-04:002007-07-01T23:00:00.000-04:00So sorry you had such a difficult time with your d...So sorry you had such a difficult time with your dad at the restaurant. My father went through that hostile phase also, and now my mother-in-law has started it. She keeps thinking my purse is actually hers and gets upset when I tell her it isn't. So now I've learned to hide my purse when we visit my in-laws or when they visit us. My father-in-law says she has started going through moods where she gets very nasty to him and swears at him (words he didn't even know she knew) because he thinks she doesn't know who he is. Then he gives her a Xanax and she calms down to her normal personality. I'm looking into ways to have someone come to their house to help him with housework and maybe "sitting" for her so he can go out for awhile by himself. She follows him around everywhere in the house and he can't get anything done. It is very difficult and I feel for you and your family, going through this with your dad at such a young age of 66. At least my dad was over 88 when he started showing symptoms and my MIL is 79.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8024461.post-77386945673650464272007-06-17T21:22:00.000-04:002007-06-17T21:22:00.000-04:00Bert,I'm so sorry to come back from a bit of a bre...Bert,<BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry to come back from a bit of a break and read this. How difficult for you and your mom, and of course for your dad.<BR/><BR/>There's not much to say except I'm thinking of you and your family, and oh, yes, I'm sorry your dad didn't manage to accidentally punch the woman who was laughing. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a large metropolitan area to care for someone with dementia, and like it or not, she's part of that.<BR/><BR/>Take care, Bert.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8024461.post-2469264903882255732007-06-16T13:09:00.000-04:002007-06-16T13:09:00.000-04:00Dear Bert,I am so, so sorry. Standing at the end o...Dear Bert,<BR/><BR/>I am so, so sorry. Standing at the end of this line, my father dead from this disease for over a year, I see you, your mother, your father, millions and millions of others, struggling along, sitting in the traffic of Alzheimer's. The route is clearly marked - KEEP OUT, DANGER, TURN AROUND - but as of yet, there is nothing that can be done to avoid this awful detour. And instead, our parents, pulled by a disease so powerful it knows no enemy, leave us to march ahead, golden years be damned.<BR/><BR/>Keep writing, Bert. You tell it like it needs to be told.<BR/><BR/>PattyPatty McNally Dohertyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01503282660162161324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8024461.post-78821165289959159322007-06-16T10:19:00.000-04:002007-06-16T10:19:00.000-04:00You don't need a nursing home, you need an alzheim...You don't need a nursing home, you need an alzheimer's care facility. There is a big difference. I had my father in one and they did a wonderfull job. He has passed on now - basicly he forgot how to eat and asperated any food he was given leading to constant bouts no lung infections. He spent only the last 2 monthes in a nursing home<BR/><BR/>Good LuckAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com